Welcome to Goblin of the Week, where the concept is so sinple even Goblin players will get it. Every week, we pick one Goblin. That Goblin is Goblin of the Week. That's it. We are also aware there’s a typo in the first sentence but we don’t fixing typos for Goblin of the Week either which is a new rule we just invtented.

You may be wondering how we pick the illustrious Goblin of the Week? You're assuming we've thought that far ahead. And thinking is for Blue.

Okay. We need to have a serious discussion this (Goblin of the) week. The year was 1998. Urza’s Saga was still in the telling. We hadn’t all lost our collective minds at the turn of the millennium. Most of you probably hadn’t even been born yet.

But you know who had been born?

Goblin Cadets. 

Goblin Cadets is a 2/1 Goblin that moves around the table when it’s blocked or blocking. Okay. Groovy so far. But, Jerry Tiritilli, we need to talk about that art.

We do a lot of questionable things to goblins in the name of victory. Or comedy. Or both. And I’m not saying we have drawn the line at child soldiers. I’m just saying that maybe we should. We’ve seen Wort with her weird fleshy goblin niblings. We churn out 1/1 tokens that get Skullclamped before they can draw breath. But something about these vaguely child-like Goblin Cadets.

It haunts me.

First Printing: Urza’s Saga 1998